I Hate That I Love You
by Lovin' Big Time Rush
Summary: And I hate how much I love you boy. I can't stand how much I need you. And I hate how much I love you boy, But I just can't let you go. And I hate that I love you so. - Rihanna and Ne-Yo


**A/N: Here's a song fic. It was supossed to be I of my Kogan ABC, but it's not… I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think it's pretty good please review!**

_"Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna_

_(feat. Ne-Yo)_

Kendall stumbled into his and Logans apartment. Logan stood up from the couch and walked over to him. "Kendall, it's late. I was so worried about you." Logan replied wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Logan scrunched his nose up as the smell of alcohol burned his nostrils. Of course Kendall was drunk. Kendall was always drunk.

"I was just haven' some drinksss." Kendall slurred his head lolling against Logan shoulder.

"Kendall, you should stop drinking." Logan replied. Kendall pushed him away and slapped Logan across the face.

"Mind your own damn business." Kendall growled before storming off to the shower. Logan heard the shower turn on before he sat on the couch, tears filling his eyes.

_That's how much I love you _

_That's how much I need you_

_And I can't stand you_

_Must everything you do make me wanna smile_

_Can I not like you for awhile? (No...)._

The song that reminded Logan of his relationship between Kendall and himself started to play in his head. Logan hated this song. It almost described them perfectly. The only problem was, was that in the song both the boy and the girls feeling was mutual, that wasn't the case for him and Kendall. He loved Kendall more than anything in the world, but he wasn't sure Kendall felt the same way... Logan was pulled out of his thoughts as the bathroom door opened. Kendall walked out completely naked. Logan blushed a little as the blonde walked over and stood in front of him.

"Kendall...um...you're naked." Logan said sheepishly looking away from Kendalls downstairs. Of course Logan had seen it before, but it still caused his cheeks to burn.

"What? Oh..." Kendall mumbled. He was still obviously plastered. A shower couldn't make you less drunk, but sometimes it can help. Before Logan knew what was happening Kendalls mouth was on his kissing him roughly.

_But you won't let me_

_You upset me girl_

_And then you kiss my lips_

_All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)_

_Can't remember what you did_

Even though it said girl Logan could still relate to the words. Of course the song was a little off Logan could still remember that Kendall slapped him, but the kiss helped take the sting out of it.

_But I hate it..._

_You know exactly what to do_

_So that I can't stay mad at you_

_For too long that's wrong_

Logan was no longer mad at Kendall as he started to kiss back. Rihanna was right, it was wrong that Kendall didn't let Logan be mad for too long. Logan sighed as Kendall started unbuttoning his shirt. He tried to push Kendall away, but Kendall just came back stronger. The blonde pinched the smart boys nipple making the ladder jump from pain and pleasure.

_But I hate it..._

_You know exactly how to touch_

_So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more_

Said I despise that I adore you

As Logan tried to regain his composer Kendall pulled off his shirt and started working on his pants. Again Logan tried to push Kendall away, but again he made no success. Logan gave up. He might as well just suck it up and take it. He always just sucked it up and took it when Kendall was drunk.

_You completely know the power that you have_

_The only one makes me laugh_

Logan was positive that Kendall knew what he was doing to his boyfriend, and he just didn't care. Logan cried out in pain as Kendall pushed into him without preparing him first.

"Yeah you like that Logie, don't ya?" Kendall asked huskily thrusting in and out of Logan. He only nodded. Last time he said it hurt and asked Kendall to stop it got ugly. Real ugly. Logan scrunched his eyes up as the pain just kept build as Kendall got faster and rougher. Well at least Kendall had said his name right this time. Sometimes Kendall would call him Brad. That always made Logan nervous. It always made him wonder who Brad was. After a few minutes Kendall came with a shout, filling Logans abused hole. Kendall didn't notice that Logan didn't cum, let alone that he wasn't even hard. Kendall didn't care when he was drunk, as long as he got his release. Kendall roughly pulled out of the smart boy and flung himself beside him on the bed.

_Said it's not fair_

_How you take advantage of the fact_

_That I... love you beyond the reason why_

_And it just ain't right_

Logan knew Kendall was taking advantage of him, but he just couldn't bring himself to try harder to stop him. Logan really did love Kendall beyond the reason why. Kendall was his everything, his life, the one that made him him.

_One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me_

_And your kiss won't make me weak_

_But no one in this world knows me the way you know me_

_So you'll probably always have a spell on me..._

Thinking that one day Kendall wouldn't make his heart beat unreasonably fast and his stomach wouldn't fill with butterflies at seeing his smile, that was wishless hope. Kendall would always do that to Logan no matter how many times he came home drunk and pretty much raped his boyfriend. Kendall was his best friend, his lover, and he'd probably always will be. That's why Logans favorite part was the chorus at the end.

_And I hate how much I love you boy_

_I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)_

_And I hate how much I love you boy_

_But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)_

_And I hate that I love you so_

**A/N: Poor Logie! It broke my heart writing this :"(**


End file.
